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Waiting Mode

Yesterday was the day that our result for semester 1 will be released. Supposedly. But end out we –students from IIUM Kuantan Campus- still can’t access our result. While our companions in the Main Campus (Gombak) already laughed, enjoyed, cried, etc etc since yesterday. Is this a discrimination!?!?

Not to forget, for everything happened there must be hikmah beside it. Maybe ALLAH allowed us to continue our du’aand pray while our result being processed. May ALLAH give the best to me and all my friends, ameen. While waiting for the result to release, I think I will write something about education in
Malaysia, our lovely country.

My Story

i)

“Hani, open the door please. Cikgu Zairos datang ni,” her mother start worrying when her daughter, Ummul Hani, 12, locked herself in her room right after came back from her first UPSR paper that morning.

“Mummy tipu. Hani tak mau pegi exam da lepas ni,” she replied.

“Jangan la macam tu sayang. Kenapa Hani tak nak pegi exam da lepas ni?” the mother try to have some conversation.

“Hani ckap tak mau tak mau la,”

“Ok lah kalau Hani tak mau pegi tak pelah tapi bukak pintu ni dulu ye sayang,”

Silence. After a few seconds… Hani open the door. Outside, her mother stand still and watch with a very loving face. Hani hurried and hug her mother and burst into cry. Her mother belai her hair gently and asked,

“Kenapa ni sayang, bagitau mummy eyh. Kenapa Hani tak nak pegi exam da lepas ni hm?””Exam tadi Hani tak dapat jawap semua. Hani nak 5 A. Dah tak dapat satu Hani tak nak pegi semua la.”

”Eh siapa kata Hani tak boleh dapat A paper tadi? Anak mummy ni pandai la. Insya-ALLAH boleh dapat punya.”

“Betul ke boleh mummy? Tapi Hani tak dapat jawap semua tadi.” she wipes her tears and look up to her mother.

“Boleh insya-ALLAH. Lagipun
cubaHani tengok, markah untuk dapat berapa? 80
kan? You can lost until 20 marks and still get an A, right?”

Hani didn’t reply. Continue hugging her beloved mother.

“Dah dah pergi siap. Kesian Cikgu Zairos kamu ada kat bawah tu. Hani pergi sekolah dengan Cikgu ye.”

“Cikgu Zairos datang betul-betul ke mummy?”

“Iyela, takkan mummy nak tipu pulak,”

”Oh yeke? Ingatkan mummy pancing je tadi,” she smiled and get into her room to get ready for the next paper.

ii)

“To all students who is going to take your SPM results, please gather at the main hall immidietly. Your results will be released in 10 minutes.”

All students involved imiidietly entered the hall and took their seats. As the examination secretary appeared at the stage, silence filled the hall. Everybody wait for him to start the ceremony.

“First of all, praise be to HIM that all of us are still alive till this moment and congratulation to all of you for whatever results you get. For your information, this year…” bla bla bla I didn’t pay attention about his opening speech until a phrase which catch my interest.

“This year, somehow it looks like there’s some improvement. Where the numbers of students who excel with 10 As and 9 As increased to 8 sudents from 7 last year. 4 students got 10 As and 9 As. And after our principle Encik Suhaimi deliver his speech, we will announced all 8 students who achieved 10 As and 9 As. Without further ado I welcome Encik Suhaimi to deliver his speech. Tafaddhol mashkuuro,”

And when Encik Suhaimi came up to the stage, I can’t hear anything else. My heart felt like its going to blow any moment from now. I kept praying that my name will be among the 8 persons because my target is at least 9 As. So if my name been announced after this, it means I reached my target. If it is the other way around, I can’t imagine it. I don’t want to imagine it.

And the moment arrived so soon. First, they announced the 10 As achievers. One by one. All of them received hugs, congratulations and applause and so on. It ends without my name.

I continue praying for my name to be announced for 9 As achievers. The first name, second one. My mouth can’t stop uttering my pray. What will happen if I failed to get 9 As? It is going to be the end of the world. People won’t look at me. They will forget me. I won’t get places to university.

The third person just stands up after his name been announced. Both his friends sitting to the right and left of him stand up too and shake hand with him. He walked steadily to the stage and received a warm and wonderful hug from the teachers.

Only one more chance left. I looked down to the floor. Covered my face with my hands. Still praying but no hope had been put in it. I gave up. I don’t think the last name will be mine. A lots more students and why it must be me? And my thought came to reality. It was the person in front of me. I wanted to congratulate him but I could’t take off my hands from my face.

“I didn’t make it. I failed” I shouted in my heart.

“Relax, there must be hikmah besides everything happened,” the other voice in my head said.

“Yeah, I must be thankful and redha for everything given to me,” the earlier voice agreed.

“Other students, please come in front and take your result,” I heard the examination secretary announced.

I took a deep breath and look up. Everybody was congratulating those best students. I just stood there looking. Suddenly the best students for this year came near me and I shake hand with him, hug him and this was the moment where I lost control of myself.

I burst into tears. I went to the back of the hall and sit there trying to calm myself down. Having some conversation to console myself. Keep reminding myself that ALLAH knows the best for me.

And after a few while, I went to take my result slip.

Those are some example which I faced and heard of it myself. Those story might also happened to others too. What I am trying to say here is, those two story might end with a more tragic way, committing suicide.

History

Here are some cases in
Malaysia for committing suicide or attempting suicide because of their result in examination.

March 2006

M. Valsala Menon, 18, sustained various injuries after she fell three floors from a school building. The student of SMK Perlis was distraught after a school building. The student of SMK Perlis was distraught after receiving her SPM results and attempted suicide.

September 2005

Matthews Vinesh, 17, hanged himself with a nylon rope in his home at Taman Mewah Jaya, Klang, hours after completing his trial exams. Parents, teachers and friends were surprised as Vinesh was a good student who had scored 7As in the PMR exam.

September 2004

Siti Nurulain Hafizah Che Rauf, 12, strangled herself to death with a nylon rope at her residence in Kampung Dalam Rhu, Tumpat. At her feet was an exercise book where she repeatedly wrote “aku anak bodoh” and “belajar tak pandai”.She had fallen into depression while preparing for the upcoming UPSR exam.

August 2004

Upset with his exam performance and worried about his ability to cope with the SPM, Julian Tan Kok Ming, 17, hanged himself in his home at Taman Seputeh, Brickfields.

Feb 2003

J. Lakshmi, 18, had targeted 6As for her SPM but she got only 2As and could not accept it. She hanged herself with her mother’s saree at her house in Taman Indah, Jalan Temiang, Seremban.

August 2002

A 12-years old girl burnt herself to death in front of her house in Lorong Air Putih, Jalan Kota Tanah, near Alor Star, Kedah, after being chastised by her parents for failing her exams.

I also shocked when I found out about this. Everyone is to blame for all these cases, parents, school, the Education Ministry, the media and even to the person itself for taking the wrong decisions.

According to Dr. Zasmani Shafiee, chairperson of the Chapter of Child and Asolescent Psychiatry (CCAP) of the Malaysian Psychiatric Association,

“it’s all our fault for letting the education system become too exam-oriented, for exerting too much pressure on our children and for not trying to help our children deal with stress.”

The Awards Goes to

Our education system are becoming more and more exam-oriented. You scored a line of As, you are good. No As no talk. I knew about this because I was and still am the part of the drama. If before this, I was the students, now I teach at tuition personally. Went form house to house which the parents got too much money and will do anything to make sure their children succeed. Yeah, parents. Someday, we will be categorized into that group too,insya-ALLAH.

The point is, what I learnt in my university is totally different where we stressed more to the knowledge itself, to think about it. Not just about examination only. When I teach students who are the candidates for SPM and PMR, they prefer I teach them how to score rather than to understand the subject.

Consider this case, a genius student who revise his study once a week, strive all As in his examination. So he got highlighted, being interviewed and appreciated by his school and so on. Actually what we are celebrating is his genius brain –something gifted-. Did we realize that?

Compare the previous case with this one. A student who hardly pass a paper during his study, managed to get Bs in most of his subject in the real exam.

Did he get any credit? I really hope that his fellows, friends and family members do give him some credit for his efforts –not for his luck I hope. If nobody acknowledged his effort, he might end up like S. Subashini who committed suicide, apparently because she didn’t get the desired A’s.

Is it wrong if I say that the message we are giving to the children are who didn’t get their A’s simply aren’t good? If this is the case, so we measure achievement by their results and we forget their efforts.

Don’t get surprised if we see more cases like above. Help our children, our brothers to deal with stress. Don’t stresed on striking As in exam, but ask them to become an educated person. An educated person won’t let their study down. And also they keep their moral high.

By the time I wrote the HISTORY part, my result has been released. Neither satisfied nor frustrated. Combine the two feelings and youwill know how I felt. Sorry for a low-quality-entry. Insya-ALLAH wil be improved next time.

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